well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
