you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
