I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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