Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
