PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
