So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
