I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
