sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm both gender and math confused
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
