Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
