Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
