i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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