what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
