Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Barsexuality is the new black.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
