I got chris browned last night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize
