The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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