I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We left an ass print on the piano.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
