found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
