he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
