right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your penis caused this!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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