Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
