Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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