"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
