He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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