You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
