last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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