I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
