needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
