i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
