I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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