The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
