And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
