Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i need an iv and a liver transplant
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
