Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
