They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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