Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
this is an emotional support booty call
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
