I'm really into asian looking animals
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
