His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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