He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
