i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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