shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
