her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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