stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When are your genitals available?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
