God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
