Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
