This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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