D3 body, D1 cock
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
