life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
