I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
