The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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