she was so not down for the gang bang
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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