In the future we'll all be gay
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
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