I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
